|
And now it's time to say goodbye
Wednesday, May 14, 2003 03:52 p.m.
So, here it is, the end of Dawson’s Creek and Buffy. They, in the guise of the WB, have sucked away more than a few years of my life, but they’ve brought me a lot of great things, wonderful friends and experiences I wouldn’t trade.
So here, in no particular order are some thanks.
BUFFY:
Kiena, Gylzgirl, and the rest of the IRC crew: even though most of them were B/G shippers, they were nice enough to take me in and show me around this internet thingie.
Serendipity: Her site was my window into the W/X world and through it, I have to say that I met some of the best people in my life.
Tracy – my red pen goddess. Nobody betaed Buffy like Tracy. She was able to maintain that odd distance and remember punctuation in the midst of the hottest of sex scenes. She made me laugh and she made me awww. She also writes amazing fic that gets in Oz’s head (no mean feat) and makes my heart hurt somethin’ fierce.
Amy – my angst goddess. The only person I know that can make me read and like Buffy/Angel. She was my writing partner on one of the best pieces I think I wrote, my late night muse. She writes amazingly as well and I adore her to bits.
Loki – Xander. Must. Die. She knows this, but still she protests. She got me in to the Posting Board Party. She gives me silly presents that confuse me (hee) and she’s wonderful. She writes these tortured little pieces and, even though they’re now about sparkly boys, I still love her.
Then, through twists and turns that are too numerable (and long ago) for me to mention (and remember) I met Willa who loved me enough to make me feel better with Pacey and Joey when she had moved on from Willow and Xander, and Pete Milan. Pete is a God. A GOD of W/X fic. He writes them like nobody’s business. He feels them and makes you feel for them. And, shock of all shocks, he made me like Tara. And occasionally Anya. And he writes a mean Doyle.
There were others – Terry and Violet and Teri and Monique and so many more that begged for W/X and W/G and wanted more and asked nicely and just made me feel the Buffy love.
Most of all though, beyond the fic writing of it, which I know this is supposed to be about, this has all been for my friend Brad who was so squicked by the thought of W/G fic that I had to write it. Buffy was OUR show. And I miss him.
DAWSON’S CREEK:
Wow. I’m not even sure where to begin with this one. I mean, all my Buffy girls were still by my side during DC (even Pete in a more Buffy Guy way) but along the way I found these amazing people who are (even more amazingly) my friends.
Tammy – for introducing me to FF, to Capeside Diaries, to Liz and, most importantly of all, to Pilar.
Pilar – There are not enough words, babe. Nothing can describe what your friendship meant and will always mean to me. You dug the weirdest shit from my brain and made it funny and good and disturbing and a million other things that I never would have been without you. Our friendship started with a death and has only gotten better from there.
Liz – who dragged me kicking and screaming (and pretty sure everyone hated me) to FF and to MBTV where I met:
The Core Four: Isadora, Diesel, Ginni and Neo. They were, by far, the coolest kids on the block and I was scared to death of them. Since then I’ve learned that Is is the shippiest shippah of all, Diesel is my brain twin, Ginni doesn’t have an accent (riiiiight) and Neo is so stealthy you cannot see her in the dark. They’re still the coolest kids on the block, but at least I can say they’re my friends.
Along with them, I met Piggay (a gay man in a woman’s body), herman (the sickest bastard in Indonesia…which is a good thing), Snick (who is, by all outward appearances, normal) snib (who disappears when the getting gets good), JoJo (who disappeared for good, which was bad) and Kath. There’s too much to say about Kath, but the one thing I’ll always remember is the uterus picture behind her head when I first met her.
All of these people and others too numerous to mention (see: Paceyporn.com These folks have given me too many moments, too many friendships to detail. I love them all dearly and have, in one form or another, written something just for them. I am scribe to their commands.
Foxlet and Laa – too young for all of this and too old to be young. They amuse me and I adore them, and they both have inferiority complexes that are amusing in their complete wrongness. I hope they continue to never grow up, although I do hope they'll be old someday so they'll quit talking about stuff in HIGH SCHOOL.
Boo – Out of the kindness of her heart, Boo offered to beta for me. Some might be cynical and say it was just for a chance to read the fic early and to try and influence it (not that she has a P/Jen preference or anything). She was my grammar gal when Diesel went out and got a life (sheesh) and a wonderful friend who owes me many hours of chatting now that she’s done the same.
Roly – Nothing is better than bonding over naked boys, huh? All bare, sweaty pecs aside, Roly’s not just my friend, she cracks my shit up with her betas, she listens to me bitch and moan about the lack of muses and she gives me fic almost whenever I ask her. And she’s willing to stay up late to humor me.
I can’t blame DC on any one person (save Joshua Jackson, I fear), but no matter how bad a show it was, how crappy the writing managed to be, how deeply they buried any semblance of continuity, it will always have a place in my heart for the people I bonded with over exactly those issues. I may not have the best taste in shows, but I certainly have damn good taste in people.
And, uh, I mean that last sentence in a non-cannibal type of way.
And then there were none...
Wednesday, December 4, 2002 06:03 p.m.
So the last time I rambled it was all about the state of fanfiction, which actually turned into a thing about missing friends and how people disappear from fandom and such. It's not really surprising and I've seen (and done) it a time or two myself. And I feel it happening again and, for the first time, I'm not sure I'm sad about it.
This season of Dawson's Creek, to be kind, sucks hard. It sucks so hard, the black holes in space have banded together to protest it taking over their jobs. There's talk of starting a union. Now mind you, this isn't news to anyone. Since the heyday of season three (which wasn't amazingly good to be honest, just amazingly good for Dawson's Creek) the series has gone downhill at a rate that Indy 500 drivers envy. And it's taken the fandom and the fanfiction writers down with it.
I had hoped that, being the last year, the show and the fandom would perk back up, give us a good ride, end on a high note (or at least give us some high notes before shoving the soulmate crap down our throats), and go out in style. Sadly, that doesn't seem to be the case, although several of the more diehard fans are proving themselves to be bat-shit crazy, which is at least amusing.
But I'm finding it's affecting the writers to an exponential degree. And I'm not talking about the folks who will rehash the same happy, lovey-dovey Pacey/Joey crap over and over in their pursuit of a happy ending with characters that no longer exist in the world of DC. And I'm not talking about the Dawson/Joey fans who watch and re-watch the season's two hour premiere and then write some romantic clap-trap that has nothing to do with what they've actually shown on the screen.
No. I'm talking about the writers who actually invested in the show - the ones who stick to canon and try and work around what the show has given us, inconsistencies and all. I'm talking about people like Roly and Laa Laa and myself, all of whom feel the seeping dread of the voices quieting.
I haven't heard a voice in my head in over a month now. I've managed to scratch out a few pages here and there as have the others, but nowadays it's as if we're trying to write, which isn't the same thing as writing and, to be honest, is a hell of a lot harder than writing itself.
Laa's been working on her "last fic" for months now, most of which I've seen and which is good, whether she believes it or not. But it's hard to remember who these characters are when they're not talking to you and you're trying to wade through the completely inexplicable character personality changes we've been facing. In fact, it would relieve me immensely if we found out at the end of the season that the characters had been taken over by pod-people from Roswell. Heh. Damn, now I'm sounding like someone from Fanforum, aren't I?
Roly's been working on two stories (at least) for a while and working and working. The voices aren't speaking with her either and I know she's getting annoyed and frustrated. I mean, you're just trying to give these folks a little sex (generally with people who aren't Joey) so what's the issue? You'd think they'd appreciate it. They always have in the past.
And me...well, like I said above, I haven't really written in over a month which, for me, is pretty much next to unheard of. I don't have little snippets in my head and I don't hear conversations, and I sure as hell can't manage to write a sweet and tender love scene between Pacey and Joey - or anyone else for that matter.
Maybe that's the crux of the problem. Throughout my tenure in DC fandom, I've been known as a fanfiction writer. And while I've made lots of friends who know me for other things now (and who will last long past the inevitable cancellation), it's what I've always been to a lot of people. And it felt pretty good. And maybe there's just a little bit of an identity crisis going on here.
And maybe I'm just a little bit sad that I don't hear the voices anymore.
|
